THE AESTHETICS: Christmas Noir

When it comes to style and fashion and such, I am all about aesthetics. Specifically with the holidays, I like a little noir with my classic Christmas. This year (2020, man) finds me in a bit of an old-timey noir mood, so what better way to celebrate the season than share my first installment of THE AESTHETICS, an infrequent style-guide that invokes my author influences.

Because this is 2020, I aim to keep my noir Christmas aesthetics focused on home life, which means old-timey coziness done with a little salacious spin. So get your eggnog chilling and indulge in a truly noir-inspired Christmas at home with me!


Most of the time I lounge in Adidas sweatpants but Christmas Noir means proper lounging clothes, both for comfort and sexiness. In enjoy a good nightgown, both in 1. sexy housewife style (but the kind of sexy one could wear with small children in the house) and the all-too-trendy granny style which only 2. Lanz of Salzburg can provide in luxurious baggy flannel. Oh yesss.


I don’t wear a lot of enamel pins but my sister recently got me this super gothic one from Love & A Sandwich that I love. Never been much of a Santa girl, or a Satan girl, but the blend of both kind of works here.

Books & Stationary

Indulge in some non-classic Christmas lit that IS old with 3. Daphne du Maurier’s “Happy Christmas”. Then get yourself a 5. full collection of crime-ridden Christmas noir fiction. Also, send your friends from socially-distanced love with 6. this witchy card from Wax Moon Shop.

Food & Beverages

For Christmas, I really have been enjoying 7. this blend of espresso from Caffe Monte. I do always appreciate an 8. old-fashioned Sloe Gin. And, because we like old-timey stuff, I highly recommend you trade your gingerbread with this even spicer 9. German Lebkucken that I once bought on a whim and have been enjoying ever Christmas since.


TBH, I don’t watch any of the classic Christmas movies, aside from Home Alone. Not even Die Hard, friends. BUT, I’m not one to shun Christmas entertainment. I do enjoy the old Christmas tunes and will die on a fucking hill over the fact that WHAM’s “Last Christmas” IS the best Christmas song.

“But that’s not noir Christmas!” you say.

Well, this year found my favourite pianist 10. Chilly Gonzales releasing a VERY appropriate 2020 Christmas album. Also, there’s 11. this wonderful reimaging of A Christmas Carol (not pictured, but awesome) that CBC Radio airs every year, which engages in a ridiculously satirical battle of capitalism vs socialism.

How Are You Celebrating Your 2020 Christmas?

Depending on where you are, things might be a bit rough for you. Why not make it a bit noir? Or do you need some extra cheer? No matter how you plan on celebrating this Christmas, I hope you stay safe and give yourself some time to relax.