Everyone’s talking about watching Tiger King and doing jigsaw puzzles and playing elaborate board games. I bet quarantine without kids is pretty great. Most days I don’t get a lot of joy because I split my time between my 5 year-old and my “almost-a-toddler” baby and my nightmare rectangle of a phone, which stresses me out with coronavirus updates that I CANNOT LOOK AWAY FROM.
It hasn’t been all bad. Most days I find one or two moments wherein I enjoy the company of my children. They’re beautiful moments, valuable moments. I’ve made up for lost time in these moments. I’ve bonded with my daughter and connect with her in new ways that have eased the guilt I’ve held since she was born and I dealt with that PPD.
I refuse to lie, though.
I don’t want to complain about being a parent in quarantine. While there are plenty of things to do, the soul-draining parts of being stuck with small children all day long can prove grueling.
We’ve had dance parties. I’ve played all the boring-ass children’s games. I’ve struggled to cook an acceptable meal for my daughter while breastfeeding my son. Everything is inconvenient. I wish I could just so a fucking 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle and play Settlers of Catan while catching up on Better Call Saul BUT I CAN’T.
Fortunately, I now have access to Disney+ so I have access to all the good movies. BUT, my daughter won’t let me watch my childhood favourite Disney princess movie and tale of a woman taken captive who falls in love with her kidnapper, Beauty and the Beast because tHe BeAsT iS tOo ScArY.
I am, however, eagerly looking forward to watching Maika Monroe getting terrorized like she does best in 10 minute installments in this new movie, show, thing?, called The Stranger:
On a healthy note, my daughter does like Wall-E. I’ve watched Wall-E every damn day and it’s still a great movie that gives me hope for this whole stupid epidemic situation.
BUT, my son’s napping schedule has changed. My daughter refuses to nap. I never get to take enough naps and I never get enough sleep at night. And if that isn’t #momlife in a stupid nutshell, then I don’t know what is.
My Current WIPs
Once the kids go to bed I need to VALUE MY TIME, which means writing and writing and writing. Don’t get me wrong, though. I want to do a jigsaw puzzle just like everyone else but I CAN’T BECAUSE MY DEVOTION TO WRITING DEMANDS I SPEND ALL MY FREE TIME WRITING.
I posted in my recent CANDID UPDATE about my pandemic erotica story. It’s not so much an erotica now as it is a weird kind of love story. A “love in the time of coronavirus” story, if you will. It had sex scenes but I took them out because I wanted to value social distancing in fiction form.
This yet to be titled story will be FREE FOR EVERYONE. All you have to do is sign up for my mailing list and you will receive a copy of the ebook when it drops.
I also recently mentioned my next Patreon exclusive feminist Easter horror story, “White Rabbit”. Pandemic or not, Easter is still on the way, so if you’re bummed out about not being able to spend it doing your traditional stuff, perhaps you could enjoy my depressing horror story instead.
So funny story: I got my husband to pick up my diabetes drugs from the pharmacy on the 19th. Turns out where was a positive COVID-19 carrier working at the pharmacy that day. Local news encouraged all who had contact with the individual to self-isolate for 14 days from time of exposure, so now he’s home with me until April 2nd.
At first I thought, HEY, I HAVE A PARTNER IN CRIME, but of course he has to say this yesterday:
“At first I was excited to not have to go to work but after two days of this, I’m kind of itching to go back there.“
And I was like:
Now, I don’t want to bash my husband because I hate that kind of sexist shit. He works his ass off and barely gets much time to himself at all. He goes to work a 5AM and goes to bed sooner than my daughter does. And, because I’m a lazy distracted cook, he cooks dinner 90% of the time.
Allow me ot have a bit of a rant:
The one thing he doesn’t understand is why I have a mental breakdown nearly ever day, because he doesn’t spend every day at home with small children. Like dude, you might THINK it’s just getting a few odds and ends done between dealing with small children, but the small children become a part of EVERRRRRRRRRYTHING and you do every task with your brain split in half.
Most days, with my caffeine intake, I feel like my head is a pile of mash. I forget things. I drop shit all the time. Having kids literally made me stupider, and I don’t say this to scare any potential moms out there. I say it to tell the truth, which is what I’m all about here.
Being a mom is like gaslighting yourself into thinking you’re okay when you’re not. So I mean, take that knowledge into your ultimate decision when you consider producing spawn.
I’d kill to do a jigsaw puzzle right now. Instead I spend my son’s nap time trying and failing miserably to teach my daughter how to properly strategize while playing Connect 4.
TALK TO ME!
How are you? Are you working? Are you, like, me, at home with your stupid kids? Do you not have kids and get to enjoy Netflix like we all should? What are you watching? What are you writing? Do you hate your spouse?
I should also note that I have been finding the time to watch Tiger King. And yeah, it’s pretty messed up.
Lastly, feel free to recommend some “creepy dude terrorizes a white girl” content. Movies, books, whathaveyou. The trailer for The Stranger looks quite similar to that of Red Eye (one of my favourite movies), so hopefully I can review it or something.