Working on a new satirical horror piece about the gig economy for an anthology about the evils of capitalism. Here’s the opening, which also makes a bit of a dig at MLM’s because I cannot help myself.
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Kelly always gets me to take the girls in the afternoon so she can film her Instagram live videos. It’s for her essential oils business and normally I’d roll my eyes at her but she’s letting me stay in her basement for free. I can be a good uncle. She sprays down all the surfaces in the kitchen with Young Living Thieves Household Cleaner while I takes the girls into the playhouse in the backyard for a tea party. There is, however, never any tea to spill, just tea to pretend to spill when I take a too-eager sip out of my pink plastic cup with my pinky finger out.
The girls laugh and I wave my hand like the fucking Queen.
They paint my face with their cheap glitter makeup for an hour.
When Kelly comes back she takes a picture and posts it to her feed, claiming how blessed she is to have such a wonderful little brother who can look after her her princesses while she “works her business”.
Then I go back to my basement room and order Five Guys.