I had to force myself to write this. Writing extended bits of my personal feelings is a tough gig right now. The uncertainty overwhelms. But here we go. It’s be a while since my last CANDID UPDATE and I think it’s important to churn my internals out. Maybe I’ll feel better after. Here we go.

Before & After

I honestly thought I was ahead of the game with my writing obligations until the whole coronavirus thing came and punched us all in the face with a new reality.

Last weekend I was on a Christian retreat with the other young people in my church. Without getting to Ned Flanders on you, it proved a great experience and allowed me to shed some of my anxiety. I GOT CANDID with my church pals, if you will. It was quiet and calming and relaxing. The local market even had toilet paper. While the coronavirus news built outside of the retreat grounds, I felt safe in Sorrento.

We prayed. We played games. I vented a lot of shit to my pastor who is easily one of the most empathetic and understand people I’ve been blessed to meet. I’ve been a Christian my whole life but that retreat was an open an honest experience that I needed. I was ready to return to daily life with a rejuvenated attitude.

And then, well, we returned.

Monty Python Coronavirus GIF from Montypython GIFs

My husband I picked up the kids from my parent’s place. He returned to work and I went straight into quarantine mode. Nerves crept in. The final days of my maternity leave dwindled. And then my workplace was shut down.

I applied for unemployment insurance. Again.

I remain trapped in my house with my children.

It’s like nothing has changed!

Quarantine Life

You know what’s fucked up? It’s those little things. Knowing that I can’t take my kid to the park. Not being able to make the dinner I wanted to because the grocery store is out of X ingredient. That itch to hang out with my sister not being satiated. I hate it. Even as a hermit, this lack of social interaction beyond my household is frustrating AF.

I’m trying, though. I do my best.

Most days I am able to put my phone down. Every day I make a bit of time to relieve a little stress by bonding with my kids. And you know what? It has been fruitful. We joke and we play and we nap and we cuddle and hug and we know all the lyrics to all the Frozen II songs.

There’s always a point in the day where I’m lonely and antsy for my husband to get home. But I’m surviving. I’m managing. Life in quarantine is going okay.

Patreon Stuff

April’s story will still go ahead as planned. I really had myself ahead of the game, with the story and the moodboard and the excerpt graphics all ready to go. I will be posting the moodboard preview this week. The story is called “White Rabbit”. I was PUMPED about its release, but then the pandemic hit. Everything I wrote feels like it happened years ago.

I don’t know how else to describe it.

It’s not all bad news, though. This week I scored two new $5 tier Patreon supporters and I’m grateful for both of you. Your support keeps me going, keeps me writing, keeps me self-absorbed, which is a good thing.

I still have A LOOK BACK post to make this month and I’ll do my best to get that written this week. I don’t even know what story I’d cover. It’s tough right now, writing about myself. I try to remain positive in my Instagram posts, wherein I share my pandemic outfits. Short bursts of positive prove fruitful but I’m really having a tough time fleshing out those deeper feelings.

I crave more distraction.

Right now, whatever time I do scrape aside to write is spent writing pandemic erotica.

Wait, what?

I think it’s pretty evident by now that I take my inspirations from real-life events. Typically, I prefer to use recent events, but in this case I am using the pandemic to process things. I feel detached because I’m not working. I rarely leave the house. The other day I checked the mail and it was a Booster Juice flyer, which I tossed into the recycling in. I then touched my face without washing my hands first.

FUCK!

Everybody else might be more aware of their actions. Me? I’m in my little glass castle with my kids, pretending I’m safe when my husband brings groceries home every damn day. Honestly, I feel for my fellow retail workers. Grocery store workers. People who work minimum wage and are at the front lines of this pandemic. It’s scary.

In order to put myself out there, I started writing a story about Costco workers. It helps me feel more attached to what’s going on. And, in order to well, have a little fun, I made my story an erotica. Or, sort of an erotica. Because this is a pandemic and the last thing we need is strangers getting it on spreading the virus. Maybe it’s stupid. Maybe it’s wrong. But this is a coping mechanism now and it’s working for me.

I wrote a BDSM hand washing scene last night. It felt good. It’s helping. That’s about as candid as I can get with this story because I don’t want to update too much and spoil the enjoyment of writing it.

At first I was going to use this story as May’s Patreon exclusive, but I think I’m going to post it for free should I finish this thing. It’s weird writing a story in a pandemic that’s not yet resolved, so I don’t know where to end it, quite honestly.

Like it everything else I’ve done this year, this is an experiment.

On Writing

We’ll see how it all goes, I guess. No promises, though I do want to share. Writing’s been good for me this year and I’m produced more than ever, both in fiction form and through my blogs. Sometimes I wonder if I should be writing more for the purposes of actually publishing them through magazines, but I just want to have fun. I want to connect with more people and I think I’ve achieved that so far.

I am, how we say, getting more candid with my writing updates.

That last sentence was for SEO purposes. CANDID UPDATE, YOAST!

Candid Update: What About You?

You doing okay? Everything’s so messed up and weird right now. Does everything that happened before last weekend feel like it happened ages ago? Are you still going to work? What groceries are you have a difficult time getting a hold of? Do you have toilet paper?

Fill me in. Give me your CANDID UPDATE. (Are you happy now YOAST SEO?!?!! ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT WRECKING MY BLOG POST WITH FOCUS WORDS?)

I had to force myself to write this. Writing extended bits of my personal feelings is a tough gig right now. The uncertainty overwhelms. But here we go. It’s be a while since my last CANDID UPDATE and I think it’s important to churn my internals out. Maybe I’ll feel better after. Here we go.

Before & After

I honestly thought I was ahead of the game with my writing obligations until the whole coronavirus thing came and punched us all in the face with a new reality.

Last weekend I was on a Christian retreat with the other young people in my church. Without getting to Ned Flanders on you, it proved a great experience and allowed me to shed some of my anxiety. I GOT CANDID with my church pals, if you will. It was quiet and calming and relaxing. The local market even had toilet paper. While the coronavirus news built outside of the retreat grounds, I felt safe in Sorrento.

We prayed. We played games. I vented a lot of shit to my pastor who is easily one of the most empathetic and understand people I’ve been blessed to meet. I’ve been a Christian my whole life but that retreat was an open an honest experience that I needed. I was ready to return to daily life with a rejuvenated attitude.

And then, well, we returned.

Monty Python Coronavirus GIF from Montypython GIFs

My husband I picked up the kids from my parent’s place. He returned to work and I went straight into quarantine mode. Nerves crept in. The final days of my maternity leave dwindled. And then my workplace was shut down.

I applied for unemployment insurance. Again.

I remain trapped in my house with my children.

It’s like nothing has changed!

Quarantine Life

You know what’s fucked up? It’s those little things. Knowing that I can’t take my kid to the park. Not being able to make the dinner I wanted to because the grocery store is out of X ingredient. That itch to hang out with my sister not being satiated. I hate it. Even as a hermit, this lack of social interaction beyond my household is frustrating AF.

I’m trying, though. I do my best.

Most days I am able to put my phone down. Every day I make a bit of time to relieve a little stress by bonding with my kids. And you know what? It has been fruitful. We joke and we play and we nap and we cuddle and hug and we know all the lyrics to all the Frozen II songs.

There’s always a point in the day where I’m lonely and antsy for my husband to get home. But I’m surviving. I’m managing. Life in quarantine is going okay.

Patreon Stuff

April’s story will still go ahead as planned. I really had myself ahead of the game, with the story and the moodboard and the excerpt graphics all ready to go. I will be posting the moodboard preview this week. The story is called “White Rabbit”. I was PUMPED about its release, but then the pandemic hit. Everything I wrote feels like it happened years ago.

I don’t know how else to describe it.

It’s not all bad news, though. This week I scored two new $5 tier Patreon supporters and I’m grateful for both of you. Your support keeps me going, keeps me writing, keeps me self-absorbed, which is a good thing.

I still have A LOOK BACK post to make this month and I’ll do my best to get that written this week. I don’t even know what story I’d cover. It’s tough right now, writing about myself. I try to remain positive in my Instagram posts, wherein I share my pandemic outfits. Short bursts of positive prove fruitful but I’m really having a tough time fleshing out those deeper feelings.

I crave more distraction.

Right now, whatever time I do scrape aside to write is spent writing pandemic erotica.

Wait, what?

I think it’s pretty evident by now that I take my inspirations from real-life events. Typically, I prefer to use recent events, but in this case I am using the pandemic to process things. I feel detached because I’m not working. I rarely leave the house. The other day I checked the mail and it was a Booster Juice flyer, which I tossed into the recycling in. I then touched my face without washing my hands first.

FUCK!

Everybody else might be more aware of their actions. Me? I’m in my little glass castle with my kids, pretending I’m safe when my husband brings groceries home every damn day. Honestly, I feel for my fellow retail workers. Grocery store workers. People who work minimum wage and are at the front lines of this pandemic. It’s scary.

In order to put myself out there, I started writing a story about Costco workers. It helps me feel more attached to what’s going on. And, in order to well, have a little fun, I made my story an erotica. Or, sort of an erotica. Because this is a pandemic and the last thing we need is strangers getting it on spreading the virus. Maybe it’s stupid. Maybe it’s wrong. But this is a coping mechanism now and it’s working for me.

I wrote a BDSM hand washing scene last night. It felt good. It’s helping. That’s about as candid as I can get with this story because I don’t want to update too much and spoil the enjoyment of writing it.

At first I was going to use this story as May’s Patreon exclusive, but I think I’m going to post it for free should I finish this thing. It’s weird writing a story in a pandemic that’s not yet resolved, so I don’t know where to end it, quite honestly.

Like it everything else I’ve done this year, this is an experiment.

On Writing

We’ll see how it all goes, I guess. No promises, though I do want to share. Writing’s been good for me this year and I’m produced more than ever, both in fiction form and through my blogs. Sometimes I wonder if I should be writing more for the purposes of actually publishing them through magazines, but I just want to have fun. I want to connect with more people and I think I’ve achieved that so far.

I am, how we say, getting more candid with my writing updates.

That last sentence was for SEO purposes. CANDID UPDATE, YOAST!

Candid Update: What About You?

You doing okay? Everything’s so messed up and weird right now. Does everything that happened before last weekend feel like it happened ages ago? Are you still going to work? What groceries are you have a difficult time getting a hold of? Do you have toilet paper?

Fill me in. Give me your CANDID UPDATE. (Are you happy now YOAST SEO?!?!! ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT WRECKING MY BLOG POST WITH FOCUS WORDS?)