Hello, you amazing, beautiful, wonderful and sexy people. I did promise you some more personal and candid blogging, so here’s my first attempt at doing so in my very first “CANDID UPDATE”. This is what I’m getting the big bucks for, right?
It’s 10AM and I’m trying to churn this out while my daughter’s playing game on the tablet and my son’s in his stupid activity jumper and my coffee is still in that beautiful stage between hot and lukewarm. Part of my daily routine while on maternity leave is getting my blogging work done in the morning. Aaaaand, it’s not always easy. I already had to help my kid with her game several times and my son’s already crying.
#writerMomLife
This past week took me to a few extremes in terms of anxiety. I mean, it’s winter and we just had this crazy snowstorm across the country. I’m not gonna pretend it was bad for me, because I live in British Columbia. Like, it’s not Vancouver joking levels, but out snow wasn’t as bad as the rest of the country.
So I DID have to shovel a couple of feet of snow off my deck in -25 degree weather (-13 in American) and I did it like a true Canadian, friends. That being said, having two young kids and being stuck in the house really does feel like prison. I also don’t drive, so that adds an extra layer of being truly stuck.
It really sucked because my daughter has a $25 Starbucks gift card she’s been itching to use and every day she begs to go to Starbucks. Not sure if you’ve ever pushed a stroller through snow, but lol fuck no.
Fortunately, the SADS hasn’t sunk its teeth into my mental state just yet. We’ll see what February brings. Valentine’s Day is one of my favourite holidays, however, and boy oh boy do I have a pretty sweet horrific and depressing Valentine’s Day story for you…
February’s Story
Happily I can tell you that I finished February’s exclusive tale in record time. Just two drafts to perfection, which is a good sign that this year’s endeavor should prove fruitful. Next month’s tale takes you urban exploring, as that has been my choice of YouTube video in recent weeks.
“Hostages” was inspired by the gondola jump video, and this new tale’s heavily inspired by this trip to the now demolished Rolling Acres Mall in Akron, Ohio:
Meshed with this story is a pretty accurate example of married Millennial life. Part of me hates getting so much character inspiration from personal details but I’ve always been a “write that you know” sort of person and I enjoy fleshing out the raw reality of real life.
So yeah, it felt pretty good to write this new exclusive story and to also churn out the graphics at a quick pace. (I’ll be posting the moodboard and subsequent details soon!)
The Other Story That’s Driving Me INSANE
So, sure, I’m doing well in one department, but in my downtime I’ve been attempting to rewrite a stalled story for regular submissions. This is the fourth or fifth time I’ve attempted to fix this piece and I’m tearing my hair out over it. Now sure how candid I should get with this update, but you catch my drift.
I’ve wrestled with this story for years now and it’s a bit out of my field. It exists in an alternate reality, is told via third person, and is supposed to have a bit of humour. I posted the opening scene on Facebook once and received an overwhelming positive reaction.
Has this ever happened to you? What did you do? Did you finish the story? Perfect it?
My inability to get passionate about this piece is driving me mad.
Perhaps a moodboard is in order…
Anxiety
Okay, so let’s go back to some personal shit. Here in Canada, I’ve been fortunate to have a full year of maternity leave. Still, I’m really starting to agonize at what life will be life when I go back to work.
Part of me gets excited by the idea of spending my days with adults again, but you now, it’s working, and it’s working customer service. The other part is wary. My daughter will be entering Kindergarten in the fall, so I will likely need to cut my work down to part-time so I can cater to dropping her off and picking her up. to be a cut in our income.
On the plus side, YAY, more writing time!
On the con side, FUCKING HELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO AFFORD TO LIVE WITH LESS MONEY?!
So yeah, it’s not like dire straights or anything. Family life is tough these days. I don’t have a lot of friends with kids, so whenever they look at my husband and I and doubt having kids I just wanna be like, “I mean, you can just look after mine if you feel like having kids for a day. We’ll share ’em.”
The anxiety of going back to work keeps me up late from time to time. Can I keep this up? Can I maintain writing, the sub-par graphic design, the social media? I’ve always been a rather high-maintenance perfectionist about things and I feel like recent years have confronted me in this regard, and not just in the “YOU’RE NOT KATE MIDDLETON AND YOU DON’T NEED TO WEAR A DIFFERENT OUTFIT TO CHURCH EVERY WEEK LIKE IT’S A GALA DEBUT” kind of way.
Like damn guys. Anxiety is so draining.
How Have You Been?
Has the new year treated you well so far? Did you make resolutions? Are you fretting already? Any WIP’s causing you agony? Do tell!
So that’s my first CANDID UPDATE. I hope it was of the candid and update-y variety. Maybe I’ll get more candid in future. We’ll see.